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  • Writer's pictureMadeline Maxwell

Before her…

Before I met her I would never consider a relationship that would involve my partner to travel. I'm not hating on these relationships but it wasn't what I wanted/or considered in a relationship.


But that was before her.



She changed it all. From the moment the door opened and she walked into the building, in uniform.... and that smile. I can't tell you much more from that moment because I indeed hid from her.


She went to open the door and hold it for me to walk through and I hid behind a soda machine ( SO AWKWARD)



She wasn't looking for serious 😉


I wasn't looking for serious 😉


But we were looking for fun.


But then, one day I knew. I had fallen for this woman


There was a moment, and in this moment I had a feeling that I wished I could have changed who I was before I met her- but hadn't felt this way with anyone else.


She was everything I could have ever asked for. But deep down I didn't believe I deserved a love like hers.


And that feeling hurt me. I saw myself as hard to love or too damaged, and I lived my life believing that about myself for years and let my actions all around me show that.


Here are some things I've learned with her:



  • Your past is that. Past. You can stay there, remain or grow.


  • That it can be safe to love and be loved.


  • Communicate- you can't work through triggers if you don't talk about them. You can't expect the other partner to know - it doesn't work like that. You will be disappointed every time.


  • Safe Space - You have to be able to give each other room to be ugly and broken to be loved through the pain, a space to be heard, and a space to work the dark parts of your mind.


She showed me love. A love like I never had. We are both still healing things separately while learning to love someone and giving them the space to evolve and grow from the past even when there are triggers from past experiences.


And that is HARD. Triggers are hard.


But she is worth the love she gives and I am grateful that I get to be worthy in her eyes. She is my best friend. And I will love her from any distance.


And if this is you my LOVE - thank you. For loving the broken, damaged parts and never asking me to change.


Love always,


Your BBG


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